Tuesday, April 29, 2008

My Life in Tetris

Remember when we all first started playing Tetris, and we burned it into our brains so that when we tried to fall asleep, we couldn't help but play it incessantly in our heads?

That is the best way to describe how I felt about my last job, the one I hated. Not only did I think about work incessantly as I tried to fall asleep, but doing my job felt like playing Tetris. But not fun Tetris. It was more like level 22 when the pieces are only in free fall and you barely have time to see them before it's already landed and the next one starts its free fall. This usually lasts like 4 seconds and then it's funny because what the hell, you got the high score and that space between your thumb and your forefinger was starting to burn anyway (before they had ergonomically correct Nintendo controllers.) Anyway, imagine a Tetris game with no way to restart or commit Tetris suicide, and the controller is superglued to your hands. No matter if I stayed overnight in the model apartment to get stuff done, or worked weekends, or checked email morning noon and night to stay on top of it, I could not control all of these pieces that should have fit together, but didn't.

My mind felt like this.

But NOW, oh my God, it's like the first time I ever played Tetris, and it's FUN, and it looks like this.

And I can do whatever I want and I'm still awesome at it. I can be obsessive and clear one row at a time, or I can go for the wow-factor and wait for the long skinny piece to clear 4 rows at a time. I can even run to the kitchen to get a diet coke, knowing that pieces are piling up, but it doesn't matter because I'm so frickin' awesome that I can have the screen cleared in no time. What's up, Alexey Pajitnov? You F'ing ROCK! The best part is that when I'm tired of playing the game (let's just call that 5:00 on weekdays), I can put down the controller, NOT play it incessantly in my head, and enjoy life outside of Tetris. It really IS a beautiful day outside. Sunshine and flowers, Em, sunshine and flowers.

I've learned that I'd rather be the best at a menial job than mediocre at a prestigious job. It reminds me of the time that Hup was working a temp job when he first moved here. He was working in a corporate office, helping the facilities people, mostly emptying the trash in the kitchen and moving recycling bins around the office. He noticed that the people there were extremely nice to him, and complimentary too. Finally, when one of the people stopped to tell him that he was doing a great job, he asked them who did the job before him, and that's when he learned that there was a team of four mentally retarded adults that usually do the job. That's why one of hup's many catch phrases to this day is, "I can do the job of 4 retards!" complete with chest puffed out and biceps bulging. And then we go home and eat bologna & fluff sandwiches, cuz we're AWESOME.

Thursday, April 03, 2008

Pilot Episode

(Awkward silence....)

Sooooo, it's really hard to start a new blog post after a 6-month absence. It's like running into an old friend that you don't really like in the supermarket. "Oh HEY! How ARE you?" as if yelling a few keywords will be the equivalent of actually giving a shit. Then the person with the guiltier conscience feels like they have to give an excuse as to why they let 6 months pass without any contact. So, here we go:

I hated my job. It was ruining my life. I had panic attacks that rendered me physically immobile. Family and friends told me that I had become a horrible person that they didn't enjoy spending time with. If I had blogged at all, it probably would have gone something like this: "GAH! FUCK EVERYONE!" Then I went on a mission trip with a church group to Biloxi, MS and felt the joy of the Lord in my heart, my soul, my bod. I loved my neighbor as myself, I got the joy of the Lord! (Seriously? Yes.) So then I came back and called my boss at 9am on Monday morning and told her I'd be giving my notice, to which she replied, "Very Good. Thanks." (Seriously? Yes.)

So now I'm unemployed and to spice things up even more, Hup and I moved into the house right next door to my parents' house. Everyday I wake up not knowing where I am or where I'm going. (Answer: Nowhere, apparantly.) The epitomy of my new lifestyle came on Tuesday morning when my mom called me and said, "Since you're at home and unemployed, I've got a chicken in the fridge that needs to be cooked. I'd offer you and Hup some, but there's only enough for me and dad." Sure, no problem. I wasn't doing anything anyway, except waiting for Verizon to install my digital cable and DVR. We had basic cable that must have been leftover from the previous tenants, which Hup said was like watching TV Russian-Roulette style. What did we ever do before the Guide button? Settle for The Price is Right because we didn't even know that Magnum PI was on? What a waste!