Thursday, October 12, 2006

Effie's To-Do List

Inspired by this blog , here is my to-do list:

1. Learn to use my sewing machine. I asked for one for Christmas during my Trading Spaces & While You Were Out days, but that waned quickly. Now I want to use it so I can make renaissance costumes and sell them for big bucks, alongside the weapons and wares that my husband will make. I swear, Weird Al was singing about us when he wrote the White & Nerdy song.

2. Clean my house. I mean, really clean, like scrubbing the grime off of the blinds and scraping pubic hairs out of the corners of the bathroom floor.

3. Organize my personal filing cabinet. Everytime I start this task, I get sidetracked by the old shit that I keep in there, then I'm so tickled pink to have found it that I leave it in there. Example: I have a whole folder dedicated to Atmel where I used to work as a Diffusion Specialist. In the folder are all sorts of manuals, MSDS (Material Safety Data Sheets, for those of you who aren't white & nerdy), and general information about what the heck microelectronic fabrication is anyway. In case you're wondering, "Diffusion is the first step in the process of creating ICs (integrated circuits, duh). Here, we will create layers of material on the wafers, using various gases and dopants in high-temperature furnaces, which will be etched, implanted or otherwise defined." So, I keep all this stuff to remind myself of it, because I was a Diffusion Specialist and you'd think that with a title like that, I should have retained something.

4. Organize 11 shoe boxes of memorabilia. Again, as soon as I start to organize it, I get lost down memory lane and then I can't throw anything out. If I get such a kick out of stuff now, imagine how much fun it'll be when I'm 50, or how much my kids will make fun of me when they find it in the attic some day. Example:

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

If I ever found something like this in my parents' attic that their friends did for them, I think I would have shit helium balloons I'd be laughing so hard (yeah, I don't know how that reference is relevant, but I liked it.) I cannot rob my offspring of an opportunity like that.

5. Finish reading Ayn Rand's "The Fountainhead". It's been almost 12 months since I started reading it. The kicker is I really like the book. I need to dedicate more than 20 minutes every 2 weeks to reading.

6. Remove the plantar wart on the bottom of my foot. Just incase you weren't grossed out by the pubic hair in the bathroom, I thought I'd throw this one in. I've had a plantar wart on the bottom of my foot since 10th grade. Last year, I went to a podiatrist to get zapped with a laser every 3 weeks for a couple of months. I think I was like 85% of the way done with the treatment, but that's when I decided to quit my job and go work with the monkeys. Then the wart came back more powerful than ever. I'm afraid to go back because I seriously think they might have to amputate my foot at this point. Oh well, at least then I'd have time to sit around the house and do things like read & organize & make medieval wench costumes.