Saturday, December 31, 2005

Happy New Year

The year in review can be summed up by this past week in review:

1. Suddenly, people my age including my own circle of friends are suddenly having babies. I'm not ready for kids; I'm not even ready for other people's kids. So, friends, if anyone of you ask me if I want to hold your baby, don't be offended if I hold it with arms outstretched like it's a time bomb waiting to go off.

2. My sister and my cousins remain the rocks that I need them to be. Even with Kate meeting a guy on the internet, Jane meeting a girl on the internet, and Emily taking the plunge into home ownership, they still aren't registering as blips on the radar screen of parenthood. Phew!

3. I lost 10 pounds, I gained 10 pounds. The 10 pounds I gained between Christmas and New Years is almost gone, so I'm starting the year off at pretty much the same weight I started off last year. I don't know if that makes me feel good or bad. I look back at all the boxes of Little Debbie snacks I consumed (most of them in secret in my car on the way home from the store), and I think, "Wow, I didn't gain any weight this year!" But I also look back at the road races I ran, the miles and miles I rollerbladed around the local park, the 3 gyms that I belonged to, the week that I thought I was marathon training, and then I think, "Well screw you! Obviously exercise does NOTHING!"

4. Having a crappy job is better than having no job. I started the year off as an unemployed Realtor, collecting a weekly unemployment check, and cold calling people who could probably hear the fear in my voice. I'm ending the year as an employed rental agent, collecting a measly paycheck that is less than my unemployment check, and cold calling people who can probably hear the bitterness in my voice.

And sadly, that sums up my entire life. Well, almost, I forgot to write about the highlight of my life, the single source of joy in my otherwise gloomy day, the thing that keeps me going when I think there's no reason to go on. No, not Craig (he's fine, by the way). I'm talking about TV. And it is with that that I regretfully publish my New Year's Resolution for 2006:

I will watch no more than 5 hours of TV per week. (Trust me, I've done the math a hundred times. Lost is 1 hour, Prison Break is 1 hour come March, American Idol is 1 hour, Biggest Loser is 1 hour when it starts, and The Office is 30 minutes. That leaves 30 minutes left for Seinfeld, King of Queens, or Everybody Loves Raymond repeats during dinner.) Goodbye Grissom, Jordan, Alan and Charlie, America's Funniest Videos, Dr. House, and all those new comedies on Thursday nights that look really good.