Dear Diary,

We're going on vacation on Friday and I can't hardly wait! My friend Lauren of Ode to Lauren fame will be house sitting. In preparation for our vacation, I have to get my house ready to be house-sat. Now, it's not that I don't trust Lauren, or think she will snoop, but part of my prep included going through all of my drawers and thumbing through all of my journals and notebooks, just to see what's in there. Maybe she'll be on the phone and have an immediate need to take a dictation, so she reaches for the closest steno book she can find, and then she opens it up and this is on the page:




Oh come on, like Miss America doesn't have a similar to-do list in her vanity drawer. And I bet her diary entries are very similar to this:


For the record, I don't remember ever really saying goodbye to chocolate. I think that was just said for the diary's benefit so it would think we were through, but really we were sneaking around behind diary's back. "Oh hey Diary, what's up? Me? Just eating some tuna. You know me, can't get enough tuna and metabolife! What? Chocolate? No, I said goodbye to chocolate, didn't you know? I haven't seen chocolate since I used to hang out with donuts - man, what a time that was!" Meanwhile my can opener is lodged in the back of the kitchen drawer and I've got nougat in my teeth. Can't put anything past ol' diary!

Anyway, in fear that these random pages would be discovered in secret, I had to post them for all the world to see. That's my desperate way of over-compensating for my shortcomings that has made this the blog that it is today.

In other news, I've had two softball practices so far! I definitely suck, but I'm not the worst one out there. Those that are worse than me include the two 95-pound chinese guys that don't know what "tagging up" means - one of their names is yunfun or yinfin or yunfen, and the other one's name is Kevin. I can't tell them apart. There is also one girl that is about 1/3 my size, but she can't hit. If the rules would allow, she could be my pinch runner and then we'd be pretty good together. Sadly, our first game that was supposed to be tomorrow night was cancelled by the other team, and then I go on vacation, so no game for me for 2 weeks. The good news is that there is no possibility that I can get any worse between now and then.

Since this blog post is disjointed anyway, I have one more funny notebook discovery to add! I found another random quote from the hup that was so good that I'm sure I wrote it down seconds after he muttered it, and then it was promptly stowed in the secretary desk until last night. It goes like this: "I like my job when I don't have to go there." Brilliant.