I said a flip flop, flippy to the flippity flip flop, rocking to the bang bang boogity up drop the boogie to the rhythm of the BANANA

It's about two months later, and now I'm going to write a blog entry about why I won't miss THIS job, just incase I forget. The corporate Director of Human Resources was in the office here yesterday and said that he thinks I'll be back, and that the door is always open, and blah blah blah. Today my on-site bosses said that they would take me back in a second, and I told them that I was starting to feel like a human ping pong ball. "Oooh! No weekends? OK, I'll quit my job and go work there." "Wait, but you'll pay me more? Ok, I'll come back." "Cheaper insurance? I'll give my two weeks notice!" Stop the insanity, Effie. Pick a job and stick with it. Just because people compliment you doesn't mean you have to quit your job and go work for them. Sheesh.

I don't know if I can make a top ten, but I'll try:

10. Remember that red tape that I was yearning for? Well, that's great and all, and yeah it's nice not having to be responsible, and it's comfy knowing that there's other people analyzing data, and other people writing the ads, and other people setting the rental rates. But you know what? I'm not a monkey. I can't WAIT to use my brain again!

9. I'm getting fat here. Let's just use today as an example, shall we? Dunkin' Donuts munchkins for breakfast that my boss brought in. At noon time we all ate birthday cake for my assistant community manager's birthday. At 12:30, before I finished licking the butter cream frosting off my plate, we were ordering chinese food. Not to mention we are required to have cookies out for the residents and customers ("Sorry," I said to the customers as I brushed oreo crumbs off my budge, "did you want anything? We're all out of Oreos.") Sometimes I wish they had bananas. Oooh Oooh Oooh AH AH AH!

8. Scripts! Finally I'll be able to answer the phone and actually speak to the person normally without having to say, "As your dedicated Relocation Specialist I am going to remain with you every step of the way. I know that the process of moving is a challenging time, and I want you to know that you have someone you can count on. I would like to offer you my personalized service by giving you a courtesy call to remind you of your appointment. What number is best to contact you at?" (Yes, that is the actual script. Line 12 of 16, to be exact.) According to AIMCO, you'll never get a phone number by just asking for it. Who the hell makes an appointment and then refuses to give their phone number? And is a monkey reading from a script really going to get that person to change their mind? If you give me your phone number, I'll give you half of my banana.

7. Ummm... this place is 13 miles from home, and gas is really expensive now.

6. Renewal prices! Even our corporate office sets our renewal prices, and they increase rates by astronomical amounts so people that have been here for 3 years end up paying over $100 more than people just moving in. Don't they know it's cheaper to keep a new customer than to find new ones?

5. Melissa's baby shower. Yay! I quit my job so I can go to this!

4. Red Sox game with Kate. Yay! I quit my job so I can go to this!

3. Church Camp Reunion. Yay! I quit my job so I can go to this!

2. Hoyt 5K race. Yay! I quit my job so I can go to this! And I'll get a free banana at the end.

1. Yay! I quit my job so I can go to this!

I can't wait for Monday so I can start bitching about my new job.