If I ever do this, shoot me

This is an ongoing list of things that I frown upon. If you ever catch me doing any of these things, please shoot me:

1. Order a pre-cooked holiday meal from the supermarket. We have ONE day a year, where the point of the holiday is to feast on homemade food. C'mon people, we're really not that lazy, are we?

2. Ride a motorized scooter. If I ever get so lazy that I can't even walk from point A to point B, don't even bother shooting me. I'll probably suffer from muscle atrophy first, which is a very suitable punishment.

3. Put my children on any type of medication before the age of 18. Your 5 year old is hyper? Your 16 year old is depressed? You don't need to medicate them, you need to thank God that your child is NORMAL.

4. Declaw my cat because I don't want them to ruin my furniture. In fact, if I ever get to the point that I care that much about my furniture, just shoot me, cat or no cat.

5. Put my cat or dog on anti-depressants. Do I really need to elaborate on this one?

6. Buy more cars than the number of adults in my household. (Although I won't shoot my parents who currently have 4 cars for 2 people.)

7. Buy a McMansion.

8. Drive less than a mile to the gym so I can walk on the treadmill for 1 mile.

9. Glare at or roll my eyes at the overweight person at the gym who is using the equipment, as if I'm entitled to it more than they are.

10. Have a gas fireplace in my house that can be turned on & off by a switch, or worse, a remote-control.

11. Put a DVD player in my car. We're not braindead enough that we need to be staring a screen from the time we leave our computer screens at work until we plunk our asses down on the couch at home? If you're taking your family on a roadtrip, guess what? The fun of the roadtrip is not watching "The Incredibles" while you're driving by Niagara Falls.

Maybe if we let our kids be hyper & use their imagination instead of force feeding them Ridalin & Nickelodeon, they'd turn into intelligent, well-adjusted human beings. And, it's FREE! We can save all that medication money & blockbuster bucks to put gas in one of our cars so we can drive to the gym that we're paying too much for.

That's enough for now. The rest of the ones I am thinking of are starting to end with, "well, unless it's this", and I would shoot myself if I was a hypocrit.